More than anything else, I have created this site in order to address two questions:

Why do we, collectively, and to a lesser extent, individually, murder and maim each other in so many ways?

What if anything, can be done about that?

Read the “What This Site Is All About” for more information.

 

From Koan by Jay Edson

“Do you love Artemio?”

His eyes grew wide and he looked at me as though I had said something astonishing. He paused. Then he said “Yes. I really do. I think. . . I think I’m in love with Artemio.” He would probably never have put it this way without my prompting, but I was sure that those words, more than any others, would accurately name and clarify his experience.

“Does that feel okay to you?”

“Not really. Well, yes. . . and. . . no.”

“How `yes’ and `no?’”

“Loving him feels good. It feels like something new and good growing in me. It feels alive. Yet the sexual thing. . .”

“What sexual `thing’?”

“The sexual feelings. . . you know.”

“They aren’t okay?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“They aren’t .. . normal.”

“Normal?”

“You know. It means I’m a pedophile.”

“No, I don’t know. It sounds like you’re calling yourself names again rather than trying to understand. I really don’t know what normal is.”

“Well, okay. So we could get into a big philosophical conversation about what that word means, but almost everybody thinks that doing sexual things to boys is no good.”

“Doing sexual things, and having feelings are not the same.”

“You’re saying that it’s okay to have dirty thoughts and feelings if you don’t act them out.”

“No, I am not saying that. You’re saying that. The people you’re afraid of are saying that, and worse. They’re saying that it’s sick, or evil, or perverse, just to have the feelings. And to ever act on those feelings makes you an unspeakable creep.”

“If you aren’t saying that, what are you saying?

“That the love you feel for Artemio, even the part that feels sexual, is good. One could even call it “wholesome.” It’s potentially the most creative and healing energy in your life right now, and in Artemio’s life.”

“And what about what I did?”

“`The sexual thing?’” I said, mimicking the disdainful manner in which he had previously uttered this phrase.

He allowed himself a faint smile. “Yes, the `sexual thing.’”

“In my mind we’re into a gray area here. All things considered, though, letting it become explicitly sexual will tend to create problems.”

“So what do I do now?”

“You need to stop hating yourself, for starters.”

“But what if I’ve damaged him?”

“Don’t be silly.”

“But that’s what everybody seems to think.”

“Your relationship is helpful to him.”

“Yet the actual sex is not.”

“I’m not certain about that. I think Socrates may have been wrong on this one point.”

“Which is?”

“The issue of whether a love relationship between a man and a boy leads to higher things may not depend, as Socrates would have it, mainly on whether it’s expressed sexually. Socrates had an unfortunate prejudice against physical life.”

“On what then would it depend?”

“On whether the man puts the child’s needs first, I think.

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