The Main Things
One day while I was standing in front of the generic brand products in our supermarket, deliberating whether to buy their toothpaste or to continue to rely on Colgate, I saw the Lord Himself. He was over at the delicatessen ordering potato salad.
I ran right up to him and asked the question that was burning in my heart. "Good Master," I said, "What must I do to inherit eternal life?"
"Well, loving God and loving your neighbor are the main things," he answered.
"Yes," I persisted, "so I have tried to do. But who is my neighbor?"
"Your neighbor," he said, with a piercing look, "Is Menandez Felicidad from Nicaragua."
"Yes," I said, "I can handle that."
"And your neighbor," he added, "Is Mbotubu Lombombo."
"No problem," I said.
"And Ivan Schnotsaliski," he went on.
"And Pierre Thibadault," he added, (seeing that I was from Maine).
"Yes, I can handle that."
"And Dick Cheney," he said finally.
And I went away very sorrowful for obvious reasons.